Once you have decided to access therapeutic support for your child, next comes the task of choosing the right person to support them. How do you know which therapist to approach? Who will be the right fit for your child?
Before choosing a therapist, you need to make a choice of therapy type; there are a few to choose from, each of which has benefits. You will then need to look on the relevant register, contact a few different people and get feel for the type of therapist they are.
Whilst anyone can call themselves a therapist it is important to access therapeutic support from someone who has had appropriate training as well as choosing someone registered with a recognised regulatory body. Regulatory bodies ensure the therapist is practicing to a code of ethics as well as having appropriate training. Here we look at the therapeutic relationship, what qualities a therapist should demonstrate and where to find them.
What is a therapeutic alliance and why is it so important?
A therapeutic alliance is the therapist-client relationship. The better the therapeutic alliance or match potentially the more successful the therapy will be. You have to feel comfortable with the therapist you have chosen for your child and equally your child has to feel comfortable with the therapist too.
Whilst not all therapy uses talking, and so details of difficulties are not always shared, therapy places the child in a vulnerable position. Therapy requires the child to explore emotions which can feel very uneasy and sometimes unsafe to explore but with the right match this can feel a lot easier and your child will feel safe exposing these emotions to the therapist. A therapeutic relationship that does not feel right, might mean that these emotions are left unexplored or the child holds back on exploring their difficulties; hindering any processing and healing that could take place.
What should I look for in a therapist?
A therapist should be warm and friendly in their approach, accepting of the child and the difficulties they are facing. The therapist should be non-judgemental and your child should feel able to express themselves in the sessions. All therapy should be led by the child and should move at the pace of the child rather than to an agenda of the therapist. You should ask the therapist how they approach therapy and how they support the child through the therapeutic process to better establish if this is the person you are wanting to support your child.
A therapist should not claim to be able to ‘fix’ the problem. Therapy supports the process of working through a trauma or emotional difficulty. It provides a safe space for the client to do this. It is not a quick fix and may take some time. Be cautious of a therapist who appears to be certain that they will resolve any difficulty. The resolution comes from the client themselves and their work in the sessions, the therapist facilitates this. The aim is to facilitate effective change; but this cannot be guaranteed.
What type of therapy should I access for my child?
This depends on the type of therapy you are wanting your child to access. Play therapy is a great intervention for children. It uses a child’s natural form of communication, play, to support them through their difficulties. Play therapy is a non-directive form of therapy. This means that the child does not need to speak in the therapy and the child leads the therapeutic process.
Words can be a difficult thing to use in relation to expressing emotions. Even as adults we sometimes do not have the words to express our emotions clearly. For a child to be able to access a therapy where they do not need to try to put words on their feelings can be helpful for them. For more information on play therapy see our post – What is play therapy
Art therapy is similar to play therapy in that it does not require the client to use words. The medium of art is used to support the client in exploring their thoughts, feelings and emotions. Like play therapy, the non-essential use of words can mean that this is a type of therapy that is easier to access for children. Music therapy has a similar premise using our natural affinity to music to support clients in their therapeutic journey.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is a commonly used form of therapy for anxiety and low mood. This is a form of talking therapy which provides tools to deal with thoughts and feelings. This can be really helpful for some, however for children this can be a difficult therapy to access and implement the skills. Often children find it difficult to implement the strategies learnt in the therapy when needed. For older children, however, CBT can be an effective intervention.
Counselling is a talking therapy delivered by a trained therapist with the aim to explore thoughts and emotions with words. This can be an effective intervention for children with the ability to articulate their thoughts and feelings. Younger children may struggle to access counselling therapy. Counselling therapy may incorporate play and art within its delivery when used with younger children.
Animal-assisted therapy is becoming more of an interest to some. This is usually used alongside other therapeutic interventions with the animal supporting by bringing a sense of calm to the client. Horses, dogs, cats and even pigs can be used in animal-assisted therapy.
Why should I choose someone on a register?
Choosing a registered therapist is important. Different therapies have different registering bodies. The Professional Standards Authority (PSA) oversee some regulators who hold registers such as Play Therapy UK, whilst others therapists are registered with the Health Care Professionals Council (HCPC) or British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapists (BACP). Choosing a registered therapist means that you can be assured the therapist’s practice is overseen, that they adhere to a code of ethics and should you have any concerns you have someone you can report these worries too (which hopefully will not be the case, but the assurance that this is there can be helpful). Registered therapists will have reached a certain criteria and level of training in order to be registered and therefore you can also be assured that the therapist has suitable training.
What register should I look on?
| Type of therapy | Register |
| Play therapy | https://playtherapyregister.org.uk/ |
| Play therapy | https://www.bapt.info/register/ |
| Art therapy | https://www.baat.org/About-BAAT/Find-an-Art-Therapist |
| Counselling | https://www.bacp.co.uk/about-us/protecting-the-public/bacp-register/ |
| Music Therapy | https://www.bamt.org/british-association-for-music-therapy-resources/find-a-therapist.html |
I’ve looked on the register, now what?
You may find there are multiple therapists in your locality, you may find there are only one or two. Have a look on their website, if they have one, or contact them. Speak with them to get feel for who they are and if they are the right person for the job. After all, becoming a therapist to a child is a very important job and you want to make sure it is the right person.
Therapists will often have a waiting list. You will need to decide if your child is able to wait for the intervention, or if the therapist 30 minutes away feels like the right person and can start now, whether or not they would be the best option. Often difficulties have been present for some time and you seek support at a time of crisis. Take time to decide if this is something you can wait for or if you would really like the support now.
Discuss fees and commitment with the therapist. By this I mean the number of sessions they are anticipating. Discuss with them your concerns, and barriers you think may arise or any weeks you do not think you will be able to bring your child.
What to expect now you’ve found a therapist?
Once the therapy is set up, what can you expect? Do not expect much information to be given to you about the session and expect to commit to taking your child to every session; it is important for them to have the consistency and therefore attend every planned session. Expect there to be some changes in behaviour and potentially some challenges along the way; expect your child to refuse to go to a session or two. Keep an eye out for our ‘Guide to supporting your child in therapy’ post, coming soon.
Good luck in your search for the right match for your child, it can be a daunting task but we hope this guide has made it a little easier.
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